News
Jew Converts To Christianity After Internet Commenter Says, 'Christ Is King, You Filthy Money-Grubbing Jew"
23+ hour, 29+ min ago (223+ words) NEW YORK, NY " Heaven rejoiced today after a Jewish man accepted Jesus and converted to Christianity. Sources confirmed that the man was converted thanks to the powerful witness of an X user who proclaimed, "Christ is King, you filthy money-grubbin…...
Mamdani Condemns New Yorkers For Making Muslims Throw Bombs At Them
4+ day, 23+ hour ago (189+ words) NEW YORK CITY " Mayor Zohran Mamdani has strongly condemned New Yorkers for making Muslims throw improvised explosive devices at them. After two bombs were hurled by ISIS-inspired Muslims at a group gathered near the Mayor's mansion, Mamdani demanded that people…...
Pope Condemns Allied Forces For Not Just Talking It Out With Nazis
5+ day, 1+ hour ago (220+ words) VATICAN CITY " Pope Leo issued a forceful condemnation of the Allied Forces resorting to violence instead of simply talking things out with the Nazis. The Pope warned that stability and peace in places like Nazi-occupied France could never occur through…...
Study Finds Jews Are Always Cool And Nice And Their Bagels Are Great Too [This Post Sponsored By Israel For $7,000]
4+ mon, 4+ week ago (233+ words) U.S. " A new study has just conclusively proved that Jewish people are always cool, their bagels are great, and Israel is number one. [Ed. This post was sponsored by Israel for $7,000.] According to several respected scientists, the study found that Jews…...
Entire City Of Ninevah Repents As Jonah Plays Stirring Rendition Of 'Softly And Tenderly' On Piano
6+ mon, 5+ day ago (143+ words) NINEVAH " Eyewitnesses from Ninevah report that the entire wretched, depraved city was convicted and led to repent of its sin as Jonah quietly played the piano. Sources say that Jonah preached a thunderous, scathing sermon on the city's blatant sin…...
Israelites Protest Prophet Samuel With 'Yes Kings' Rally
8+ mon, 4+ week ago (173+ words) RAMAH " A large crowd of disgruntled people from multiple tribes marched publicly through the streets today, as mobs of angry Israelites protested the prophet Samuel with a "Yes Kings" rally. Fed up with having autonomy and personal freedoms as long…...
Fun New Ark Of The Covenant Playset Actually Kills You If You Touch It
9+ mon, 2+ week ago (229+ words) U.S. " American toy and playset manufacturer Little Tikes announced an exciting new playset modeled after the ancient Ark of the Covenant that actually kills you if you touch it. Little Tikes, known for its for its iconic Cozy Coupe, unveiled the…...